Monday 10 October 2016

What You Need to Build an App with your Class

You may have seen me going on about my new book teaching children how to code their own iPhone app... No? Check my tweets :)

But of course, my book isn't all you'll need if you're going to teach Y5 - Y8 children to code their own app. Don't get me wrong - it will help! There's no other book like it that explains the process for teachers in order that they can then teach their children without much technical know-how...

However, there is one key piece of equipment required - an Apple computer.

Why? Well, it goes back to how Apple have always worked as a company. They make things to work together. Your iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch, Apple TV - they all go together like ramalama... (you get the idea!)



When Apple first made it possible for regular people to create apps for their precious iPhone, they only wanted apps made in certain ways. It gave them more control over the App Store - which is undoubtedly a contributing factor in the success of the store.

But it did lead to one downside... You NEED an Apple Mac to do it. Now, that's not strictly true. It is possible to build apps for iPhones using Windows software but not in the way Apple intended and certainly not in the way highlighted in my book - From Classroom to App Store.

For some people, the fact you need an Apple Mac may be a dealbreaker - they're really expensive - right? Wrong!

When I first started making apps, I had a Mac Mini - a small Apple computer that plugs into your existing monitor and connects to your existing mouse and keyboard. And you can pick new ones up for as little as £450 on eBay (http://www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/mac-mini).



Now, I'm not going to pretend that I use one. I don't. I have a couple of powerful MacBook Pros but I'm doing more memory intensive stuff and I need a more powerful processor and more RAM.

But to build the apps in the book, you don't. 

The book has been written to allow you to teach your class to code their own app with just one Apple computer. A lot of what the children do in the process - such as planning their app and making the artwork - can be done on Windows-based computers or even on Android tablets or iPads.

But you will need one app to collate the code, compile (run) the app and submit it to the App Store.

So whilst the book is a mere £23.99, to build the app, you will need some small investment at school to ensure you have access to at least one Apple Mac.

But teaching your children to code an iPhone app... surely that's priceless...




From Classroom to App Store is available now from Creative Educational Press Ltd priced £23,99 at http://www.thecepress.com/product/from-classroom-to-app-store/ 


Monday 22 August 2016

From Classroom to App Store - Teaching your kids to code their own app for school

Ever since I began building apps for education in 2010, I have been inundated by teachers asking me how to do it. Not because they want to make their fortune with the next Angry Bird, but because they want to teach the children in their classes how to do it.




I first introduced coding iPhone apps in a club I ran for Year 6 children about four years ago. They loved it but as my commitments at school grew, I no longer had the time to continue with the club. And no other teachers knew how to do it themselves, let alone teach it.

I always meant to write a guide for teachers but it was one of those things I just never got round to. Until now.

'From Classroom to App Store' is my first book and it's out in September. We've deliberately delayed its release until after Apple release iOS 10 so the book will be the most up-to-date guide to coding an iOS app on the market and the only one aimed at educators with NO prior technical knowledge.

You see, I remember teaching myself to code. It was really hard. There's an awful lot of jargon out there and very active (and judgemental) professional developers who have a tendency to look down at Newbies like myself. What I wish existed back then was a book that explained everything as though I'd never really used anything more than Microsoft Word.





And that's what my book does. I've written it so you can easily follow the steps and explain them confidently to your children. Wherever there is something technical, I explain it so my own daughter (just finished Year 6) would understand... 

The book will take you on a journey from writing your very first app, to planning an app for your school, to building the artwork, to thinking about user experience to the App Store.




And that fundamentally is what I'm hoping to achieve. I want schools to be able to code their own app using code written by the children. 

Whilst the new(ish) curriculum places greater emphasis on coding than ever before, most of the coding going on in schools (at least in primary schools), involves moving a cat up and down and creating a maze game. 

Very few schools really delve into actual coding using an IDE (it's in the book!) and even fewer schools code for a real-life purpose.

I'm hoping that this book will change everything. 

Any school in the country could use this book, follow all the steps and submit their own app to the Apple Store.

That's no small claim. And I've put my email address and contact details in the book so I'm available if anyone gets stuck! 

So what do you need? I've been asked this a few times on Twitter. So let me clear it up now so you don't buy a book you can't use.

To complete the exercises in the book and build a genuine, native iPhone app, you will need:


  • One Apple Mac computer - any kind will do as long as it can run the most recent version of Mac OS (I started on Mac Mini);
  • PC or iPads to produce the artwork required - you can do this on the Mac too but if your school only has one Apple, the children can complete most of the exercises on a PC and then send their code to the one Mac to go into the app;
  • One iPhone to test the app on - but you don't have to! It's just good practice!

If you actually want to submit your app to the App Store, you'll need an Apple Developer account which is currently £79 per year.

Oh yes, and you'll need a copy of "From Classroom to App Store" by Doug Stitcher! 

Pre-order your copy now and save £4 from http://www.thecepress.com/product/from-classroom-to-app-store/ 

I don't know who's looking forward to seeing your school app in the App Store most... you or me!

Sunday 10 May 2015

My first 2 weeks with the Apple Watch

Okay... I admit it. I'm an Apple fan. I have been since my first iPhone in 2010. Our household possesses around 6 iPads, 4 iPod Touches, 2 iPhones, 2 MacBooks, 1 Apple TV, 3 iPod Shuffles and about 432 charging cables...

But it's all in the name of app development!

Before the Apple Watch came out, I had already received requests for apps for it. So I knew I had to get one in order to test these apps properly. At least that's what I told my wife...

I've had a Pebble Watch since October. The Apple Watch opened for pre-orders on April 10th. On April 9th, my wife had asked me to lay pebbles in the back garden. I duly obliged only to crush my Pebble Watch under a 20kg of pebbles from B&Q...

It was a sign...

Ay 8.02 am on April 10th, my order was placed. 42mm Apple Watch with black leather strap. I wanted the stainless steel strap but I couldn't justify spending over £300 on a strap! 

2 weeks later, my watch arrived on launch day and I raced home from the school where I work to try it out.

First Impressions

The box didn't impress me. I was expecting a watch case - something like you'd get from a jewellers. Instead, it was more like a variation of an iPhone box. 

I'm a lefty... So I hurriedly placed the watch on my left right wrist ensuring the digital crown was on the left side. What I didn't anticipate was this would mean that the strap would fasten upside down to how any watch I'd previously used would function. It felt strange. A bit like when you try and to do up shirt buttons on your own kids...

So, I detached the strap using the quick release buttons hidden underneath the watch and swapped the two parts around. Simple! Now the watch was on the correct wrist, the digital crown was in the right place and the strap fastened naturally. But it was a lot of hassle - and perhaps the only time I've only truly wished I was right handed!

Setting the watch up was a breeze. Much like any Apple device, a simple wizard and I was away. 

As this watch was replacing by pebble-crushed Pebble, I was most concerned with receiving push notifications on my wrist. And whilst this is the watch's greatest strength, it is also it's biggest weakness.

Notifications

They look great! They mirror your phone's notifications (unless you change this in the Apple Watch App on your phone). They are easy to interact with (you've all seen the videos produced by Apple!).

But I can't feel them!! The tapping on your wrist is so subtle that unless you are really tuned into it, you will miss it.

Now, I got increasingly used to it but what I found was that sometimes a message would cause my phone to vibrate as usual and sometimes only my watch would tap it out. There doesn't seem to be a reason why it varies.

What it does mean is that I'm still constantly checking my watch for notifications as I don't feel I can rely on it to tap out the notification.

Battery Life

The battery life was the big concern. But it's excellent. I finish my day with 50% of charge left. And of course, I interact with my watch a lot! Charging is no problem. I simply plug my phone and my watch in to charge at the same time as I go to bed. I wake up, and they're both good to go.

And my watch battery life far exceeds that of my iPhone 6!

Apps

So far, the apps are rubbish. They don't do much that is useful and they are slow to respond. I'm sure this will improve as developers now actually have devices to test their apps on. 

The app that interests me the most is a guitar tuning app. It seems to make sense to have this on your watch! Unfortunately, the only app that does this is currently £4.99 so I'm planning on making my own (not to release, just to use!).

Looks

I was concerned when Apple first announced the Apple Watch. It looked to me like a squashed iPhone 3G. But when it's on your wrist, it looks impressive. It feels like a quality time piece.

I've opted for the sapphire screen and so far, I've banged it against the conservatory door (my daughter's fault), my daughter's head (her fault), my daughter's bedroom wall (her fault again) and not a mark on it.

By all accounts, the stainless steel surround is prone to scratching but mine hasn't shown any signs of that yet.

Summary

I love it. I knew I would. And I'm biased.

It's not perfect - not by a long shot. You don't need it (but hey, who NEEDS an iPad?) but you'll want it.

It's expensive but beautifully designed. The real test for me is how long it will last for. Traditionally, I break my watches every 6 - 8 months. But I've never spent £600 on a watch before. So this one had better last longer.

And I can't help but think that the Apple watch has got a better chance of surviving a 20kg bag of pebbles than the Pebble Watch...

Monday 10 March 2014

The Day OFSTED Made me Crazy

It's now been over 3 years since it happened. OFSTED came in, said one thing to me and in an instant turned my life around...

I've never publicly spoken about it before in any detail (though others have talked about it on my behalf). I was always somewhat worried about the ramifications of doing so. I was also so angry, I never felt I could put an objective perspective to the story.

But a lot's happened since then. Not least, I've had a much more positive experience of OFSTED which you can read about here should you so wish!

Now before I start (and this is important), I need to tell you a bit about myself... I have been an ICT co-ordinator since 2001. I'm not one of those co-ordinators who just gets lumbered with the subject - I genuinely love it.

In that time, I have written numerous schemes of work, completely upgraded two school's hardware provision, developed software for Andrell Education, taught children how to code iPhone apps, started a family business developing apps for countless clients.

I suppose what I'm saying is... I know my stuff. Don't get me wrong - there's loads out there I don't know but in terms of my subject, I know what I'm doing and have a track record to prove it. I was known in the LA for my ICT and had lead LA wide training and meetings - all centred around the innovative use of ICT in primary schools.

So what? Well, the background to my teaching career and specialism is important when explaining how OFSTED made me crazy...

It was December 2010 when we got 'the call'. Usual stuff... car parks full till midnight, overly detailed lesson plans and hundreds of laminated resources that took 10 times as long to make as they would be used for.

I had a number of roles in school (being on the SLT) but when it came to OFSTED, I wanted to make sure my lessons were perfect.

So I'd planned a lesson using KeyNote - nothing particularly special about that other than our school had just acquired some iMacs and this was a perfect opportunity to have Year 4 children comparing the usability and functionality of two operating systems and their respective flagship presentation software.

To my delight, the inspector (who I will not name in this blog but I do hope she reads it) turned up, clipboard in hand. She walked in near the end of the lesson but I was about to teach it again due to the cyclical nature of the day's activities. So she smiled at me and said she would stay and watch it again.

In total, she was with me for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Quite a long time, even by 2010's standards.

The lesson went well (twice). I could see how I could have done things better but I was quite pleased and confident of a 'good' or better grade.

Then the feedback...

She began by saying "Well, that was a good lesson..." - I was happy with that. I'll take good, I thought. She then asked me what the software was we were using as she'd never seen it before. I explained and she commented on how impressed she was with both the software and how quickly the children had learned to master it.

And then she continued: "Your subject knowledge was good".

I raised my hand and actually said "Can I stop you there? Why was it 'good' and not 'outstanding'?"

Expecting a standard response linked to progress, I was shocked by what followed...

"Well, my subject knowledge isn't good enough to say whether yours was outstanding or not."

And in one sentence, she had ruined everything I had been working for for the last 9 years...

I was seething. Word soon got around school. People laughed. It was funny. Everyone knew that I was ICT... But the more I thought about, the angrier I became...

There were other issues with our OFSTED inspection, but for me, this was it. This meant war. How could someone judge me when they have admitted they're not qualified to do so.

So what could I do? Well, initially, I complained to OFSTED. It took a while for them to get back to me - in an email as I was at Ashford International on my way with the kids to Disneyland Paris...

A brief email to say that they were not upholding my complaint. I was furious. I emailed them back straightaway. I asked for copies of the evidence forms (which I duly received) and I escalated my complaint to their next stage.

This time it was upheld. I received an apology. A letter from OFSTED accepting that the comment was inappropriate. I had wanted the inspector to apologise but I was told that could not be arranged.

But by this point, it was too late. OFSTED had made me angry, bitter and disillusioned. I felt that the one area in which I was generally considered an expert by my peers had been brought into question by an OFSTED Inspector who by her own definition was not qualified to observe me.

Some people think I over-reacted. Some people think I should have tried to sue OFSTED for the damage they did to my health and my professional reputation.

I'm not really sure what I think anymore.

But to the inspector who judged me as having good ICT subject knowledge... Here's my Pocket Curriculum app - Come and observe me again when your app is in the App Store...

@TheRenegade78


Sunday 9 March 2014

The mystery of App Store rankings...

Okay, so you know how much I've been going on about The Pocket Curriculum being in the top 10, top 20 and top whatever of the education chart in the app store.

But so what?

How do rankings affect sales? And how many sales equate to a ranking?

It's all about status:

There's something kind of cool about being able to say your app is ranked at number 9 in the UK Education chart - it adds credibility to your app and convinces users that other people have found the app useful enough to download it.


But how does that equate to sales? 

Well, the best way for me to explain is to reveal a few figures... Let's start with the first day of sales for The Pocket Curriculum. We sold 45 copies. Now, in the world of paid-for apps, that's a fair amount. It's not Angry Birds... but it's a lot for a small independent software house with a limited market.

We waited anxiously for the charts to update. We entered at number 23 in the Education Chart.

The next day (which happened to be a Saturday) we sold an additional 70 copies. Our app didn't really move.

Why not? Well, there's a number of reasons:

1. App sales increase at weekends. So the apps above us were also selling more;
2. Rankings appear to take into account cumulative figures over the last few days of sales. So where we'd sold 45 and 70, other apps may have sold 30, 40, 45 and 71. 

The cumulative aspect seems to give apps like ours a fighting chance.

It's a curriculum app. Most of our sales are to schools and teachers. Schools only buy apps during the week. Teachers tend to buy apps in the evenings and at weekends. This means our app has fluctuating sales patterns.

By using cumulative figures, it would take a few days of poor sales in a row to significantly affect our ranking.

Top Ten:

So we thought... get to the top 10 and everyone will see the app in the App Store and buy it.

Nope! Yes, it was cool to get there a few times. But none of the times have resulted in increased subsequent sales. The ranking has been the result of a sudden boost in sales built on top of good cumulative sales in the prior days. The ranking itself has not lead to more sales.

Social Influencers:

Without a doubt, the biggest influence on our downloads is endorsements from social influencers...

Particularly @MrThorne and @AlanPeat. Their endorsement of our app and retweets have lead to a 70% increase in sales on those particular days. Coincidence? Possibly. But it appears that having a respected educationalist recommend your app can have a massive impact.

Long Term:

The Pocket Curriculum is a one-time download app. You don't need to buy it again. You don't buy in-app purchases. It therefore stands to reason that at some point, our app downloads will plateau and then decline.

Schools buying in bulk through the educational purchase programme DO NOT affect rankings. One school bought 120 on one day. The app went down in the chart. Why? Because it sold an additional 30 on the same day so the overall sales were recorded at 31.

This is surely a good thing. It would be very easy to manipulate an app's ranking if you could buy it in bulk! Developers would rush to buy hundreds of copies of their own app just to get it up the chart!!

To be honest, it still remains a bit of a mystery to me...

But I think that's part of the fun!

Doug Stitcher
@TheRenegade78

The Pocket Curriculum is available from the App Store for 69p!

Tuesday 4 March 2014

The Pocket Curriculum - how we finally made a successful app...

Okay, I know - I've not posted on here for ages! And I'm sorry! So much has happened this last year, it's hard to know where to start.

By now, you've probably seen me tweeting about our app, The Pocket Curriculum, in what appears to be a desperate attempt to peddle my wares...



But I wanted to explain!

I began using Twitter about 3 years ago after someone (who I won't embarrass by naming here), mentioned the fact that I was a teacher who made iPhone apps. I was bombarded by followers and interest.

This coincided with the launch of the family business, Angel Applications - named after my daughter - with our simple business model of selling apps to school.

Bizarrely, our first client was not a school - but in fact TV Parenting Expert, Sue Atkins. She then put me in touch with a certain Mr Thorne and the rest, as they say, is history. Angel Apps took off... Not in an astronomical way, but in a 'pay-for-a-holiday' kind of way.

It basically added a third salary to our joint income.

And over the last 3 years, we've made apps for Peterborough United Football Club, Bleach hair products, clubs, teams and countless schools - and of course 16 (and counting) Mr Thorne apps.

But one thing has always alluded us - our own successful app.Don't get me wrong, we've made a few... A Teacher's Toolkit (which grossed a few hundred pounds), iManUtd (which makes around £50 per month in advertising revenue) but nothing to write home about.

It's difficult as a teacher. You want to make money. But you're driven by a core moral purpose to improve lives for children and to support other educators...

So then came iObserved - a lesson observation app, built out of necessity - I use it every week. But it isn't going to pay off the mortgage.



We priced it at £1.99 - which means after Apple take their cut, we make £1.21 per sale. Then tax! We're really proud of this app - it's useful and designed to do a functional job. But it has no mass market appeal. It's aimed at senior leaders who conduct lesson observations in the UK! I reckon that's a market of around 2000 teachers - when you take into account those with iPads!

But then it hit me... I was on a Focus course about the new curriculum. All the heads and deputies around me was desperately fumbling around for printed copies of the new curriculum. I knew the curriculum was under Crown Copyright and could be reproduced freely for commercial use as long as logos were removed. So we did it.

We built the Pocket Curriculum in about 4 hours. 



A universal app for Android, iPhone and iPad that simply collates the curriculum. We added a feed from the DfE - partly to help teachers but mostly to add functionality to get through the strict Apple approval process.

I was amazed at the response. I mentioned it once on Twitter and we sold 45 copies on the first day. Now, we only make 42p a copy! But still, enough of them is a fair amount...

The momentum kept building, and since its release in January 2014, the app has not dropped below 60 in the Education chart. But better than that, it's reached the top 150 of the overall charts in the UK.

We're not millionaires. In fact, we've not made that much at all. But we are proud of what we believe is a quality and useful product.

The reviews have been fantastic. Well... all but one. Most teachers appreciate what we are trying to do. Unfortunately, there are some people who see Angel Applications as a giant business profiting from the work of the government.

They don't realise that we are both teachers.

They don't realise that we didn't just wake up one day to find we can make apps.

They don't realise that we work 15 hour days and weekends.

The Pocket Curriculum is an achievement for us. Not in terms of money - we need to sell half a million copies to make £210,000 before tax! But in terms of credibility. 

We were featured in our local paper, well-known educationalists have endorsed our app, our Local Authority promote it on their courses.

And we worked hard.

So yes, we are teachers trying to make extra money (to pay for a holiday for our children to Disneyland Paris), but we are also teachers with a desire to use technology to enhance learning and make life easier for teachers.

So if you no longer have to route around the DfE website for a week and a half to find the documents, we think that's worth 69p...

And we hope you do too!

Doug

@TheRenegade78

The Pocket Curriculum is available from the App Store for 69p!


Sunday 24 February 2013

The OFSTED experience - Data, Data and Data!

Okay, it's been a very long time since I've had the time to post to my blog - mostly due to being inundated with orders for apps and since assuming my new role of Deputy last April.

But something happened that left me compelled to post. Something unexpected. Something incredible. A positive experience of OFSTED.

Now, our report isn't final yet so I can't comment on any judgements but I thought I'd share what they wanted to see and what we had to produce so that some of you who read this may be even better prepared when your turn comes!!

Background

Some of you who know me will know that I have had an extremely bad experience at the hands of an inspector; and whilst my complaint was upheld, it really did affect how I viewed the whole process and my opinions on the quality of inspectors.

A referral by my then headteacher to anger management counselling failed to exorcise those demons. But rather strangely, this most recent experience did...

Day 1 - the phone call

I am Deputy Head in a small Junior school in Yorkshire. We have some very challenging behavioural issues so I carry a Walkie-Talkie with me at all times. The message came through from the office - "Mr Stitcher, your presence is required URGENTLY". This normally means a child is climbing out of a window; but I checked my watch - exactly 12 pm. 

I walked into my Head's office to see her on the phone. She looked up and mouthed the word "OFSTED". My heart sank... I was now wishing it was a child climbing out of a window.

After all the details were taken, the chaos began. For the teachers, it was a case of reviewing their lesson plans but I was really pleased to see that excellent lessons had been planned prior to the call - that was something that at this point, I could do very little about.

My role included Literacy co-ordinator, Assessment co-ordinator, ICT co-ordinator, DSP and behaviour mentor. But every part of me was saying "DATA"! I knew that whilst I needed to sort my own lessons out (I was only timetabled to teach twice during the visit), my largest responsibility would be to prove to the inspectors that our data systems were rigorous, effective and that good progress was clearly evidential.

Day 1 - the night before

I'd brought Essex Target Tracker with me from my old school. It was buggy and not always accurate but it was far better than tracking data on Excel spreadsheets. We were only one full term into using it. But I'd always known that when we got the call, the data would be there.

But now I was regretting not printing it off. I stayed at school until late printing off data to show the progress the children had made since September. I confidently said to my Head that if they need more, they'll ask. And I set off home, feeling quite smug.

Day 2 - Rochdale

The morning of the inspection. I set my alarm for 5.30 am and woke up, nervously excited. I looked out the window to see a dusting of snow but thought nothing of it. By 6.00 am, I was in my Volvo S80 and ready to go. I set off to work listening to Radio 2 (It's Vanessa Feltz at that time - who knew?!).

Driving down a road called Wardle Road towards a roundabout, I braked gently and found that my car had no grip on the road at all. I headed helplessly towards the roundabout and sounded my horn to warn oncoming traffic that I couldn't stop. As I reached the bottom of the hill, I swerved to the left and missed another car by a matter of millimetres. On a normal day, I would have abandoned the car and gone home. But this wasn't a normal day.

Still shaking, I continued to drive until I reached another hill. And no matter what I did, my car would not travel up the hill. I pulled into a side road and called by Head. She told me to get a taxi - bearing in mind I live near Rochdale and my school is 22 miles away... 

By 7 am, my taxi arrived and by 8 am, I was at school. Shaken up but ready to go. Of course, the inspectors arrive at 8 am too. I quickly paid the driver and began setting to work - knowing that I would have to worry about getting home later!

Day 2 - The First Data Meeting

My first meeting was schedule for 10.30 am. I sat down opposite the Lead Inspector and asked him what he wanted to know. He simply told me to tell him what I wanted. So I did.

I gave him APS progress since September for all of our year groups. And sat back, feeling quite pleased with myself.

But then he asked me:

  • What about APS progress since entry (we're a Junior school)?
  • What about vulnerable groups?
  • What about boys and girls?
  • How many children are making good or better progress in each year group?
  • What about APS progress since you and the new Head arrived?
And it was then I realised I'd under-prepared.

Now, not having a teaching commitment in the afternoon, I was able to prepare all of this data that day and I was desperate to show it to him!

Unfortunately, he'd insisted that we have another meeting the next day. 

Day 2 - Literacy Meeting

Since arriving here, I haven't done as much with Literacy as I'd have liked - I've been busy with behaviour and assessment. But I knew that our last OFSTED had cited reading as an issue. So I'd prepared a list of all the things we have done to target reading. But I was expecting the 'So what?' question.

With this in mind, I compared progress in reading this time last year with now. The data clearly showed that the gap had narrowed. And I smiled as he jotted this information onto his F form.

By the way, that night I got a taxi home costing a mere £40!

Day 3 - The Next Data Meeting

Armed with a ring binder filled with data, I went into that meeting with one intention - proving that progress was good.

I went through the data quickly and concisely - so quickly that he told me to slow down a few times.

And I couldn't help but think if I'd done this properly the first time around, he would have been happy yesterday.

And afterwards, he thanked me. He actually said 'Thank you, that was very concise. You did well'. I was taken aback! An OFSTED Inspector was being nice to me.

Other Points

I didn't mention the other inspector in the team. But he was a genuinely nice man. He came to give us the opportunity to show our school in its best light. He was polite and courteous whilst maintaining the rigour expected of an inspector.

I was so grateful as to his manner and conduct that I emailed OFSTED (and this time it wasn't for a Freedom of Information Act request designed to waste time and money). I wanted them to pass on my thanks and gratitude for restoring my faith in OFSTED. Two days later, he phoned me at school to thank me for my comments which had been read by his bosses.

Having only just survived my journey to work that first morning, I was left pondering some of life's deeper questions when a Google Search of that inspector revealed that he was also a vicar...

And so in the space of a couple of days, two courteous OFSTED Inspectors with the interests of the children at the heart of the way they conducted their inspection cured me of my OFSTED phobia...

And to this day, I've not listened to "I'm not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks...